really helpful brilliant post! i would like more about setting boundaries especially with family members. and how about when you cant set boundaries because you are feeling sorry about someone or guilty (when shouldnt). thank you!
This is brilliant thank you. Have you written more on neuro feedback anywhere? I’m interested in learning more. This is some great advice I can use with my daughter who can get very frozen / freeze ~ we try to do the move to prefrontal but know I know the reason it helps the brain u can support her with more conviction that it will help rebalance her 13 year old brain. Love you! 🌸
I have two questions: First, to your comment, "...but if you grew up in a narcissistic household or with emotionally dependent caregivers, boundaries were definitely a no-no, which reinforces this fear of social rejection that may come when setting a boundary. It will likely be harder for you to learn how to put boundaries in place."
I listened to a phenomenal interview with a journalist who interviewed tens of neuroscientists, psychologists, and geneticists for a book about setting *too many* boundaries: he had difficulty getting emotionally close to partners because his mom was emotionally dependent on him (highly enmeshed) becasue the father wasn't there, emotionally, for the mom. In the interview he said it freaked him out any time a girl wanted to hug (trauma response?) or be emotionally vulnerable/intimate with him. He would have been your example of, "Someone who says no to everything and therefore never creates intimate and personal relationships".
Is there any foundation to narcissism or emotional dependent families creating this (reverse) effect of *too much* boundary setting?
Second, and entirely unrelated: What about when your difficulty setting boundaries comes from too much *empathy*? As in, you know that a boundary or "No" is going to hurt someone, and a flood of compassion (not wanting to see that person hurt, or feeling their sadness in yourself way too intensely) convinces you otherwise? (I have this with my daughter: my worst trait haha)
Thank you for such a wonderful newsletter though! Going to read about cognitive reappraisal right now :)
This is really helpful, I've cared for my sibling over the past year but there are no emotional boundaries and I'm finding it so hard to implement them but I need to be braver.
really helpful brilliant post! i would like more about setting boundaries especially with family members. and how about when you cant set boundaries because you are feeling sorry about someone or guilty (when shouldnt). thank you!
This is brilliant thank you. Have you written more on neuro feedback anywhere? I’m interested in learning more. This is some great advice I can use with my daughter who can get very frozen / freeze ~ we try to do the move to prefrontal but know I know the reason it helps the brain u can support her with more conviction that it will help rebalance her 13 year old brain. Love you! 🌸
I have two questions: First, to your comment, "...but if you grew up in a narcissistic household or with emotionally dependent caregivers, boundaries were definitely a no-no, which reinforces this fear of social rejection that may come when setting a boundary. It will likely be harder for you to learn how to put boundaries in place."
I listened to a phenomenal interview with a journalist who interviewed tens of neuroscientists, psychologists, and geneticists for a book about setting *too many* boundaries: he had difficulty getting emotionally close to partners because his mom was emotionally dependent on him (highly enmeshed) becasue the father wasn't there, emotionally, for the mom. In the interview he said it freaked him out any time a girl wanted to hug (trauma response?) or be emotionally vulnerable/intimate with him. He would have been your example of, "Someone who says no to everything and therefore never creates intimate and personal relationships".
Is there any foundation to narcissism or emotional dependent families creating this (reverse) effect of *too much* boundary setting?
Second, and entirely unrelated: What about when your difficulty setting boundaries comes from too much *empathy*? As in, you know that a boundary or "No" is going to hurt someone, and a flood of compassion (not wanting to see that person hurt, or feeling their sadness in yourself way too intensely) convinces you otherwise? (I have this with my daughter: my worst trait haha)
Thank you for such a wonderful newsletter though! Going to read about cognitive reappraisal right now :)
This is really helpful, I've cared for my sibling over the past year but there are no emotional boundaries and I'm finding it so hard to implement them but I need to be braver.